If only you knew how much it hurt! 💔

Author's note: I hope you guys enjoy this Story. I call it If only you knew how much it hurt! At least I let you sample some of my stories for free 😜 You've got to dare to be different in this blogging game! That's why I enjoy experimenting with various forms of creativity and stories just to keep you guys entertained. Moving on to the Story now, I assume you already know you have been abducted by the Story Time U.F.O. Enter your email address, and you might not even want to come back to Earth 🌎.

It's a joke, before some serious Karens come at me. Enjoy my free love Story, and let me know if you'd like more on a specific topic.😉

     If only you knew how much it hurt 💔😞

A storm brews in the night sky, and the wind is having a feast. The cold air makes me shiver as it dances right past me. I'm wearing a thin black dress as I stare at the tropical storm. I'm sitting on the balcony. I feel too lazy to go inside to get a jacket. Perhaps 'lazy' isn't the right word. If I had to honestly describe what was going on inside of me, I would say that I felt numb. 

I don't enjoy the cold, but it's nothing compared to missing you. Why was I bothered? Why couldn't my heart let you go? I faded from your life, and maybe from your memories. I kept walking away, but that didn't mean that my heart didn't feel you calling me. You have ruined my appetite for flavor. No matter what diversity my palate tastes, my heart always finds its way back to you. 

Maybe it's because I had fooled myself into believing that nobody could feed my cravings for love the way you do. And you barely fed me at all; that's how desperate I felt for a drop of your affection. Those days are now behind me. It took a lot out of me to cut you from my heart.

It's like the moment an artist realizes the wood carvings she carved were inspired by an illusion created in her mind. A Story that was continually fed, so she could create something beautiful. Behind that beauty lay hidden the pain felt, especially on those late nights when the splinters cut deep.😌😓😤😣 

In beauty, it's difficult to see the tragedy behind the Story. It's just as difficult to see the hard work that led to success. 

I believed in you more than I believed in myself. I know that I never asked permission to love you or to treasure you in my heart.💕 But you said that it was safe, and I fell for the familiarity of your soul. I loved and fed you without expecting anything in return. I kept fooling myself into believing this was what unconditional love meant!😓

Not one day did I knock on your door like a beggar, seeking drops of your attention. You saw it as pride, but my heart knew that as long as you were content, I would be happy to know that you had one more smile, even if I wouldn't see it. They say you shouldn't fall in love with potential, but you had so much of it that I slipped right into your arms. 

The people warned me not to be deceived by your charms. I didn't listen, because only hearts could understand our connection. What set it apart was that I wasn't blind or ignorant. I saw the red flags, but I thought that just as I had imperfections and deserved to be loved, so did you. 

I fell in love with your mind and the way you looked at the world. If I were wearing my crown to portray my royalty, you were the musketeer who amused me. How I put you up on that pedestal, without you stepping up to meet me. And when, despite my anxiety, I appeared before you, it was silent. You didn't know what to do. And I wonder where the man whom I almost spoke to every day went. 

All you could think about was her. That pushed me away further. You had forgotten that I was your lover. Like a friend, you set me down for coffee on a cold December night. The wind howled, so you couldn't clearly hear the whispers of my heart. I could have screamed and yelled it out! I came so far, only to become a falling star. You ignored me when I made our love immortal in poetry. 

I thought that because we understood each other, it would be all right for us to love each other. Then I remember that one time you told me you would never fall in love again; you meant you wouldn't fall in love with me. 

Or else, how could I keep you company at this grey table, while your eyes sparkle as you tell me more stories about her? You talk about how you met, and what happens when she decides to marry you. My throat and heart became heavy. 

However, I still wanted you to be happy. I came close enough to give you a warm hug. When I gave you that hug, I said goodbye to a part of my heart. And here you were in all glory; the illusion came before me. The work of art, the masterpiece, takes away the artist's sanity. Becoming a muse to those who manifest their greatness into this world. 

As I walked away, I could hear the violins playing in the background. All I could do was ask my angels to pick up the shattered pieces of my heart from the floor. It turned out that the one I liked had brought me too far. I chased an obsession, and let go of it the moment I realized it was never meant to be in my possession. 

A few months and a couple of thousand miles had passed. When you called, our hearts had already clashed. That's when you told me that she had thrown your love away. I tried to be there for you, but how could I do that without being angry at myself? Should you punish me for being a decent human being? If only you knew how much it hurt, then you would understand why my heart needed to be liberated. You wouldn't feel like you had a right to claim me after you threw me to the side. I know it's a bad thing that I made it feel like a joyride. But what do you do when someone makes you feel like there is nowhere to hide? If only you knew how much it hurt, you would see me for what I am worth.😔